Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize