Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
