my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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