just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Life is so much better after having sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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