he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
