a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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