My room smells like vodka and shame
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
