Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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