i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
