Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
