Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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