Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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