Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
