it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
