I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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