Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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