I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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