dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
