tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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