forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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