I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
