does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
