Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and i looked up. we had an audience...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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