his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
