bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize