I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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