3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
