she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
