I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
so much tequila, so little girl.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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