They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
