he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize