dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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