We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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