My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
