I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
