And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize