I'd wear matching sweaters with you
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
