These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
