Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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