do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
