I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
