i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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