Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When are your genitals available?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
