Your tits are I can't wait for
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
