I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
