It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize