Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
