Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize