That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
