The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
