found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
