the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
