You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
