So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize